backslide

I am suddenly struggling again. The insidious beast of my problem has found my once-stalwart palisades easily corruptible, and spreads its treachery throughout my body, my inner life, and my life as a person in the world on invisibly-barbed filaments which no one can see but everyone can feel. Malevolence glides into my mouth upon...

What not not say when rape comes up, part 6 of 90,357

But rape is not about sex.     There are a few key areas within the subject of rape that the prevailing so-called wisdom of the crowd has forced me to examine, thus discovering that this "crowd" is actually composed of a few very loud voices (more on them some other time). I believe that...

Knowing, or not, it doesn’t matter

One day there was five of them.   More, maybe. But I distinctly remember five before I lucidly "went away" with, and inside of, my mind.   I came back to the land of the living, the conscious, the cognizant, outside walking toward my aunt who asked where I'd been, and I said, "I don't...

Get it out

After I got sick, I had to wait quite  a long time to get into therapy because by the time I was diagnosed, we were poised for a cross-country move that would end up dragging out for four months. Then, of course, one has to find somewhere to go and wait for an opening.  ...

Motherhood is not a job so mothers don’t have 2.5 of them

When I awoke this morning, my twitter feed was sprinkled with RTs about a study that concludes, among other things, that working mothers are working approximately 2.5 fulltime jobs.   People are outraged. People are incensed. People are aghast and agog.   Hey did you hear the one about the mother mothering her children, washing...

A latter third contemplation

Today is my birthday. I don't feel a day over 33.   11/11/11. I spent the first third of my life so far as a young child, the second third as an angsty older child and nearly a third as a mother.   When the oldest had made himself known, and I told my grandmother...

What not not say when rape comes up, part 5 of 90,357

"Oh, that's why you don't like sex." or "Oh, that's why you're so slutty*." or [for God's sake!!] "Oh that's why you started being a lesbian."   Rape is tricky because, among other reasons, it involves sexual organs but is not itself sex: it involves relational intimacy but is not itself intimate.   Outsiders can...

Where it does not hurt (weld the rape)

    1.3 million years ago in the Pleistocene Epoch, I dated a car guy.  Car guy knew as much as his brain could hold about cars, and aspired to keep learning, as his axons grew ever more keen to take neurotransmitters storing car data from his dendrites.   Yanno. A car guy.   One...

What you should say to a rape victim

Oh, the things not to say to a rape victim series is so full of a number of things, I think we should all be as rich as kings, if wealth were measured in knowing when to shut up.   It is, by its very nature, an interminably negative series.   C'mon, rape victim! Why...

What not not say when rape comes up, part 4 of 90,357

"Oh! That's why you care so much about rape, child molestation, and victims."   Uh. No. It's not. Also: fuck you. Why DON'T you care so much about rape, child molestation, and victims?